It's funny how this title is something you might say to kids about a toy or game or candy. In adult life with decreasing personal contact and engagement, getting to point of comfort to share can be really hard. Other things influence how much you share also. Have you ever shared a secret with someone you trusted and it was public news within days? Have you ever had a great idea and told a friend and suddenly they were recognized for "their" great idea? Have you ever had a relationship you thought would last forever that ended really badly? Have you ever been cheated on? All these hits to our trust build over time and sometimes cause us to create stories that become our realities that no one can be trusted or everyone will hurt us or break our trust.
While it is easy to create these negative realities from just a few of these experiences, it seems we are not as good at creating the positive stories from all of our positive experiences. Think of all the thanks patients have given or their families. Think of the impact you have had on molding a student or new graduate nurse. Think of the kindness and compassion you gave someone who had not had it. Think of the patients you protect and care for that can't express thanks. There are so many encounters through a day that could and should show there is reason to be positive and believe, but we tend to put more energy into avoiding the pain of a potential negative experience despite a plethora of positive experiences.
Lizzie's story is fictional, but much of the context is based on real life experiences and topics. It's a book full of humor and sarcasm and a funny story. It also touches on tough topics that float through nursing like domestic violence and the good and the bad of long term care. Being proud to be a nurse and proud of so many accomplishments (including writing this book), it's hard to share these topics. It feels like I'm exposing Lizzie and her secrets.
Nurses are nurturers. This can set them on paths of always helping or fixing anyone they encounter and feeling like that's possible. I read a study once that said the national average of people experiencing domestic abuse was around 4.4% but the percentage of nurses who suffered domestic abuse was 14%. Even if you are not one of the 1 out of 10, do you know or work with someone who might be? Maybe they are not sharing because they are embarrassed. They are an educated professional who is so strong and takes care of everyone else but is stuck in situation that will alter their lives significantly to get out of. And they still want to believe and not give up on the person often. Pay attention to your coworkers. Read Dementia when it comes out and see if you can your coworkers in the characters.
